I have found all my fears are what cause negativity in my life. When I am able to walk fearlessly into life, I have no anger, frustration, or unhappiness of any kind. I find amusement in things which upset me when I am feeling fearful. So, I have come to the belief “Fear is the root of all negativity.”
I believe we are afraid of our inner power. Power lies in love. I know I’ve gone many years without truly loving myself. And, even as I learn to love more fully of myself, I find more fears which hold me back from my full potential. Very few of us were raised in Unconditional Love. I’m sure someone, somewhere has been but I’ve not met them.
So, when it comes to loving ourselves, most of us have no role models. We each do the best we can at any given point in time. Sometimes the love wins and sometimes the fear wins. The goal is to let the love become the winner in the majority of our lives.
As I’ve found more love and forgiveness for myself, I’ve found I react differently to other people. I’ve also noticed other people react differently to me as well. I feel calmer, more loving, respectful, and I’m more willing to listen. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I use to feel, “Yeah, but I’d like someone to care about me first for a change.” While this feeling is valid, it occurred to me I can care about me! Besides, why would someone else care about me if I don’t. So, I began the process of looking inward, caring about my thoughts and feelings, and doing things which honored myself. This process is different for everyone. This process is unending. This process has helped me begin loving myself. As a direct result of loving myself more, I am less attached to other’s way of being in this world. If someone is upset, happy, crying, loving, I can be with them without getting embroiled in their emotions.
Fear brings stagnation and rigidity into our lives. It deteriorates our brains and our bodies. Love brings fluidity, freedom, and flexibility to us. Our brains grow and our bodies retain health. Have you ever noticed how some people appear much older than their actual age while others never seem to age? The difference is in their attitudes. Someone who appears younger than they are will be excited about life and learning. They enjoy being happy and look for the good in their lives. I worked in an Assisted Living/Retirement facility for a few years. It is where I first noticed how important attitude is in our health. Those who are more positive look for things they can do to imporve all of life’s situations. Those who are less positive simply said, “I can’t” when presented wtih possibilities.
Part of learning to love myself has been learning to let other people be responsible for their lives. I take responsibility for my life and that is my only responsibility.It has been challenging to let go of feeling responsible for the world, everyone in it, and everything eeryone does. I interpreted my environment as telling me I was responsible for everyone and everything even though I had no control of others. There were consequences to not being able to control another’s actions. I’m sure there are many who have had similar experiences.
Letting go of that responsibiliy brings forth fear. What will happen? Will I be punished? As a child, punishment comes with taking responsibililty as well as not assuming responsibility – there is no “win.” Learning to love ourselves, without judgment is the only antidote. Staying true to ourselves, accepting the consequences, and standing strong in our truth is the best we can ever hope to do.
Our power comes from love. Love towards ourselves makes us feel more loving towards others and in general.