I’ve been living in my RV for 3 full weeks. I have 99% of the items I will bring with me in the RV already. I ordered a topper for my truck so I have a place to store heavy, non-house type items like my bike, air compressor, tools, grill, outdoor chairs and tables, and other items. I’ve learned how to put water in my fresh water tank while also filtering and softening the water. I have dumped both my gray and black water tanks using both the direct method of dumping at the dump station and the indirect method of using an item called a blue boy to transport dumped stuff to the dump station. I’ve figured out my refrigerator and water pump want to be as close to level as possible or they will make a lot of noise. I’ve learned I can tear down, move, and set back up with minimal effort and no hassle. I was surprised by how easy I found it to tear down and set back up. I’m glad I found it easy as it will make me more willing to move on down the road when I want to get someplace. I won’t feel a need to put off moving. J
I’m learning taking care of myself has to be as high a priority as getting moved in. The heat and humidity are a little intense right now. Surprisingly, I’m handling it better than I’ve handled it in the last 15 years. Last year, I would not have been able to be outside without feeling like I was taking a shower. Water runs off me so quickly and so completely, I look like I’ve been caught in a downpour. This summer, I’ve been out in the heat and humidity and I’m either not sweating or sweating like a normal person. I’m shocked but pleased. This is an indicator I’m doing a good job listening to my needs. I’ve noticed my hair has taken a stronger turn towards going back to my childhood hair color. It was completely white for years and began getting color back about 3 years ago. Today, my hair is 40 – 50% back to my childhood hair color. I admit I still tend to neglect my health when I feel stressed with a lot to do, like getting ready to leave in my RV. I’m learning though because, when my body says stop, I do. That’s a huge piece of progress for me.
I couldn’t go where I’d hoped to go this winter. But, as with all things, a setback turned into a blessing. I found a little island which will be perfect for me this winter. I love islands! When I found this place, and looked at it on Google Earth, I got very hopeful. When I called and found out I could stay for 6 months, I found myself giddy and almost in tears with excitement! This will be very good for me and I’m really looking forward to the winter. I really hope the island has the feel of islands I’ve been on in the past which is really laid back, sunshine, sand, fresh salt air, and a relaxed mindset among everyone. I want to cultivate all those things within myself and take them with me wherever I go in life. I’m smiling just thinking about this winter.
I have been minimizing my stuff so I will have plenty of room in the RV and not be taking a bunch of clutter. I’ve been so successful I have empty drawers throughout the RV! I’ve also removed the one item from my life which has gotten me up and kept me alive for the majority of my life: my horse or animals in general. I knew having no animals, to force responsibilities upon myself, was going to bring up emotional stuff for me. I recognize I use animals/clutter to keep me distracted from certain emotions. I also recognize the reason there are still items on my countertops, in the RV, is because I’m having an emotional experience about putting things completely away and being completely organized and minimal. I’ve even found myself wanting to hang stuff on the walls to “organize” when it is in drawers and already organized. I get it that hanging stuff on the walls brings it out into the open so I see it and it represents clutter in a weird, warped kind of way.
So, one of the reasons for going minimal is to bring all those emotions to the surface, face them, work through them, and move beyond them. I can see this will be a challenge because I am capable of rationalizing many ways to bring the clutter back into my life. So, first step is to finish removing the items which are on the counters and put them where they belong. I also need to remove items from the Dining Room table. Lastly, will be getting comfortable without the clutter. I keep saying to myself, “I can do it. I can do it.” Finding all these emotional corners within myself will probably keep me busy the majority of this winter which is why I didn’t want to be moving around. I wanted to be in one place, with no responsibilities, and really face myself. I want to work through residual habits I’m keeping and release any which do not serve me.
I’ve been in a lot of pain last night and today. I really don’t know why as I’ve been resting. The only thing I can figure is the heat and humidity are getting to me. I’ve been staying, mostly, in the RV and enjoying the AC. Maybe the pain is coming from the emotional aspect. I don’t know but I do know it is important to figure it out. When I’m in this kind of pain, it starts a vicious cycle. The pain keeps me from sleeping and lack of sleep causes more pain. I had some things I wanted to accomplish today but I will probably wait until tomorrow or the weekend.
Yesterday, I took off my shoes and walked in the grass. It felt great and it has been a while since I’ve walked barefoot in the grass. An interesting thing happened. I am 5’ 7” tall and I feel tall. When I took off my shoes and started walking, I suddenly felt only about 5’ tall. I started laughing because I think that defines feeling grounded. I’ve never had that kind of experience before so I know I need to spend more time with the soles of my feet touching the ground.
There are a lot of emotions coming up around letting go of the extra stuff, not having a horse to force me to get up every day, leaving the kitties and their needs behind, and driving away from Jeff and the house. I am leaving everything which I’ve ever used to distract me and embracing the minimal lifestyle. So, that leaves me with me, my habits, my thought processes, and figuring out who I am, how I want to live, and who I want to be in this world. That’s big! I am completely redefining my life. I’m jumping off the deep end which is so deep I don’t even know if there is anything there to catch me. I know I will die; the person I was/am will die. The parts of me that are important will remain but all the rules, expectations, habits, and history will fade away into nothingness. My story will begin with now. I will no longer have a past which defines me. How scary is that? I will have to allow myself to grieve the old so the new has a fresh place to inhabit.
Walking with my shoes off has inspired me to sign up for Periscope. I don’t really know anything about it but it looks like a medium which is perfect for me. If anyone would like to follow me there, my handle is @tsandhage. I look forward to seeing you online. I haven’t posted any videos yet but I will.