Anger as a Friend


I attended a mindfulness session last weekend. During the session we did an exercise where we were supposed to draw a circle, place things we liked about ourselves within the circle, things we didn’t like about ourselves outside the circle, and things we were beginning to like about ourselves on the lines of the circle. A couple days later I had an epiphany! I realized all the things I don’t like about myself are, as with most people, things I consider negative. However, I realized every time I’m angry, frustrated, irritated, etc., that is really just a clue that I feel triggered. Now, we all realize this but I thought about it further and realized when I’m triggered, I feel like I’m being told I’m wrong or there is something wrong with me/how I do things/how I think/how I act. I figure this is probably true for  a lot of other people too.

What if, instead of getting upset about getting angry, we thought about whether we feel like we are being asked to be someone we don’t want to become. After all, when we are born, we are such perfect beings and I feel like we have incredible insight. Yet, usually, society and our families tell us we need to change, act differently, think more like them, conform, fit ourselves into the boxes which have been designed for us. I think it is probably pretty healthy to be upset, angry, frustrated, and irritable about being put into a box that isn’t ours.

Even before the mindfulness session, I had decided I shall live a life of laughter, love, and joy. Since the realization of how anger is a sign I’m feeling ignored or dismissed, in some way, I’ve found a lightness I hadn’t even realized I was missing. I feel child-like in the way I see the world around me. I am looking at all my belief systems and I am willing to change all my perceptions. I’m actually having quite a bit of fun looking at my perceptions of the world, which expectations I have been fulfilling, and which things I wish to continue doing in life and which I wish to change. I’m taking a playful attitude with all these changes and enjoying the process.

What would life look like if you looked at your life and chose to make it everything you ever wanted, letting go of everyone else’s expectations? Notice the next time you feel any of the feelings you consider negative, do you feel pressured to conform in some way? Do you feel like you are being judged? Maybe the negative emotion is an indicator you, too,are being asked to bottle, give up, or change some aspect of yourself.


About tsandhage

I blog about my journey towards personal growth. I have been extremely ill and have been fortunate enough to find some recovery. I have taught College level computer classes, been a Massage Therapist, and a Feldenkrais Practitioner which is someone who works with the brain and nervous system to help people find more ability to function and live their lives well. Currently, I live in a RV and travel. I'm on a journey to find out more about myself. I also do photography, write, and have been married over 30 years to my marvelous husband, Jeff. I hope to post once per month. I will share about my life here. I hope you enjoy your time here. I also have a FB Group called "Therese Sandhage" where I put out daily quotes and do my best to encourage the best in all of us and a FB Page called "Gr8 Life" where I talk about what I'm doing in my RV life.
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2 Responses to Anger as a Friend

  1. Cynthia says:

    What a shift!


  2. tsandhage says:

    I thought I changed a lot last year after reading “A Course In Miracles” but this year I’m changing so fast I almost don’t recognize myself. The most interesting part for me is I feel like I’m coming home from the inside. I’ve always been grateful and now I’m becoming incredibly happy. I laugh, dance, and sing just because I feel like it and I don’t care who’s watching. I hope the rest of the world decides to join me.

    Thank you for reading my blog and for posting a comment! 😄💞


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