Love vs. Fear

This is a picture of my sister’s truck after an accident a few years ago. She was lucky as she survived but she very easily could have died. I share this picture because it shows the fragility of life. We spend so much of our lives worrying about what can happen that we forget to live our lives. When we live in a place of fear (anger, worry, frustration, irritation, hate, etc), we are unable to enjoy the present moment and appreciate the wonder of living.

I had a hard time deciding what to call this post because it is about dichotomy; good/evil, right/wrong, positive/negative. These are all things we believe are opposites. They are only opposites because we have labeled them as such. The fact is they just are. There is no inherent quality to them at all. It’s more like a spectrum of feeling and you can be anywhere on the scale. We have all the qualities within us at all times and each serves a purpose. For instance, I have a tendency to be controlling. While I get this trait quite honestly, I use to desire to remove it from my life. However, control can be used to help me focus my attention and intention to acheive a desired result, I can use it to stop someone from touching something that will burn them, and I can use control as a way of making my life easier with my animals by conditioning them to desired behaviors. There are many other examples where control is useful. Control becomes a problem if I use it in a way that doesn’t allow for a variety of results; I demand things be done exactly a certain way. It is important I realize control over others is an illusion and I only have control over my actions and reactions.

Back to Love vs. Fear. Love is anything which brings us joy, laughter, smiles, etc. Fear is anything which brings us frustration, anger, irritation, etc. We live in one or the other. I am choosing to live in Love. I still have my fears but I recognize them more quickly now and change my thoughts. I have come to the conclusion that unless something is going to kill or harm me, it really can’t be that important. Other people’s anger, opinions, agendas have nothing to do with me. I can participate or disengage. Since I don’t like the way I feel when I am being fearful, I choose to disengage. Sometimes, I engage and realize later that I let the fear into my life. I can learn from that situation and, when I encounter it again, I can disengage more quickly.

This week, I had an experience where I thought I was heading towards another relapse. A relapse, for a person with Multiple Sclerosis, is usually significant and causes major challenges. Relapses are caused when the myelin covering the nerves is damaged which can result in damage to the nervous system. For me, I have difficulty walking, pain, unable to think clearly or at all, extreme fatigue, and headaches. So far, I’ve been able to recover from the relapses with no noticeable damage. My first reaction was fear. I immediately thought about how much I didn’t want to have a relapse. Almost immediately after my first reaction, I was able to calm myself and ask, “What can I do that will possibly help my body circumvent a relapse?” I had a session with a massage therapist planned so I decided to go to the session and ask her to do energy work only. She is gifted and we do a lot of unusual things during our sessions; they are never just massage sessions. She agreed to the idea of energy work and we set about making it happen. I joined her by drawing energy into myself while she sent me energy. It was an amazing session for both of us! Before the session, I had felt tired and slumped over. After the session, I felt rejuvenated and energetic and my sternum was upright. Will this stop a relapse? I don’t know but I do feel more secure and loved by taking care of my body and giving it the things I hope will contribute to a relapse-free future.

Inside every cloud there is a silver lining. Even when everything is going wonderfully, there is the knowledge of change. While change is inevitable, it is up to us whether it is painful or not. We can choose to resist change and cause discomfort through our resistance or we can accept that change is inevitable and embrace it. How many times have you set a goal, worked towards the goal, reached the goal, and then thought, “Okay, I did that. Now, what is next?” We are often searching for the next change in our lives. What change will we bring into our lives next? Can we enjoy the change? The end result is not what drives us. If it were, we would quit when we reach it instead of searching for a new goal.

What changes are you going to bring into your life next?

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About tsandhage

I blog about my journey towards personal growth. I have been extremely ill and have been fortunate enough to find some recovery. I have taught College level computer classes, been a Massage Therapist, and a Feldenkrais Practitioner which is someone who works with the brain and nervous system to help people find more ability to function and live their lives well. Currently, I live in a RV and travel. I'm on a journey to find out more about myself. I also do photography, write, and have been married over 30 years to my marvelous husband, Jeff. I hope to post once per month. I will share about my life here. I hope you enjoy your time here. I also have a FB Group called "Therese Sandhage" where I put out daily quotes and do my best to encourage the best in all of us and a FB Page called "Gr8 Life" where I talk about what I'm doing in my RV life.
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