I’ve been in Columbus much longer than I wanted. I arrived April 18th and hoped to leave before Memorial Day. Ha! Every time I prepare to leave, there is some reason I need to stay longer. Often the delay has to do with my truck but there have been other reasons. So, here I sit waiting for the Universe to allow me to leave.
A few things have been happening around this stay. One of them started yesterday. I asked the Universe to quit taking my truck from me and to, instead, do something else to let me know their desires. So, I asked that maybe they could make me start to feel sick and then I’d know they wanted me to stay during September. I haven’t had a cold/flu in so many years I don’t remember the last time I was sick in that way so I figured it was a good test. Last night, I woke with a sore throat. My first thougt was “Great! I’m getting sick!” That reminded me of my deal with the Universe so I accepted the answer and agreed to stay during September. This morning, upon awaking, I felt fine. Now, some will dismiss this as being all in my head and, since everything originates in the mind, I will agree. But I know my agreement and I will honor it even though I don’t want to. I’ve been fighting and losing the battle this Summer and I’m finally at a place of acceptance.
Since I’m here and I don’t know why, I’ve decided I need to treat this place like any other. I need to find the joy and playfulness I find in other locations. I want to start writing again. I want to be happy no matter where I’m planted. For it’s part, the Universe has made my body more tolerant of the heat in Indiana. So, while I don’t spend much time outside, I don’t lose all my energy just from stepping outside for a short time. That’s been a huge blessing because I can go for short walks. I like being outside and being stuck inside is depressing.
Maybe part of being here is learning to treat Columbus like any other location on my travels. Maybe I’m supposed to live as if this isn’t the town where I was born, where many people know me, where I feel obligations. Maybe I’m supposed to live here as if there is nothing for me to do, just like every other town/campground where I’ve stayed. While I would like to say that’s easy, I’ve had a lot of training in this town and I fall into those habits really easily. Of course, if I can let the habits be a thing of the past while here then they won’t even come onto my radar in another location. There’s value in that.
I’m aso learning to be around my husband without being focused upon him. That may sound strange to some but, for whatever reason, when he’s around I focus upon his wants/needs to the exclusion of my own. This does not make me happy, it makes me stressed. So, I’m in the process of learning to stay in touch with my own feelings while he is around. It will be huge, if I can learn how to do this.
I’ve been asking for an early Fall. While the temperatures are not cool, they have gotten better. The geese are starting to move on and others, heading North, are coming through. It does feel like Fall on some days and I’m grateful for those days.
While I don’t have the energy I had when I first arrived in Columbus, I am doing really well. I still take naps sometimes but not often. I’m able to be more active than a month ago. I can sit outside as long as I have a fan blowing on me to keep me cool. So, my health is still improving.