I’m back at Ceraland which is in my home town. I didn’t expect to be here this year. I had hoped to be in New Mexico. However, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. We’ll see if I’ve learned anything from life.
Instead of saying I’m going to (insert statement). I have begun to say I hope to (insert statement). I realize I don’t have control over everything and I need to listen to the Universe better. Yes, I’ve made this discovery before, many times. I’m just not the best at letting go and just allowing my life to flow the way the Universe desires. I suspect there are a few people who experience the same challenge. I’m really trying to change this about myself and, while I do keep failing and trying over and over, I know one day I will remember to flow and then it will have become my new habit. In the meantime, I will fail and flow repeatedly.
Another area, I’m trying to change is I no longer wish to try to label whatever is happening with me. Having a label gives me something to focus upon and that focus is always external to myself. My improvement in my health only happens when I am not focused on labeling whatever is happening. I know this yet I continue to look for the label. My last blog post was about labeling my experience. Source and I are working together to create my experience while here on Earth. The same is true for every human being. While we may have similar experiences, each of our experiences is unique and tailer made for us so none are truly alike and, therefore, cannot be labeled. I’m sure I will fail to remember this and will rediscover it again and again.
I had experienced a vast improvement in my last blog. Of course, since I was feeling so good, I allowed stress into my life, quit meditating on a daily basis, and wore myself down. I can expect nothing less from myself until I learn the lessons I’ve covered above. So, my truck is in the shop and I’m on enforced ‘not doing’ because I don’t have a vehicle for running errands. After one day of rest, I was mentally beating myself up for being tired. I finally realized it had only been one day and told myself to quit being so mean to me. I’ve been better since and I’m beginning to find my energy again.
When I got home, I had this feeling I should try to ride a 2 wheeled bicycle again. I have not been able to ride one since May 2005. So, I went to Wal-Mart and tried one of their bicycles. I could ride it! While I knew I would probably be able to ride, since the Universe had told me to try it, I was still surprised and very pleased I could actually ride. Yay! I spent 3 weeks running errands, walking, and riding my bicycle before the “doing” overcame me and I was sick for about 12 hours. Even though I was really sick for those 12 hours, only about 4 – 6 of them were really bad and the remainder were just me sleeping. That was not a bad price to pay. I know because that’s the lightest price I’ve paid since 2002.
I’ve been experiencing quite a bit of times where I feel lightheaded. That’s not a good explanation for what I’m experiencing but it’s the only word I can think of. I don’t feel the room spinning or like I’m going to fall. Mostly, I just feel like I’ve moved a little when I haven’t actually moved at all. Positioning does not affect when it happens nor does movement. I can be lying down with my eyes closed and feel it happen. It might be blood sugar being too low but that’s the only thing I and the doctors can suspect as everything else checks out wonderfully.
Yesterday, my body decided I should reconsider a raw, fruit with some veggies diet. Not a diet as in to lose weight, a diet as in this is how I should eat for a while. I don’t know how long. This kind of eating, while good, has never been the way I eat. I like fruits and I like some veggies but I also like cooked food, especially meat. I also really like dairy products and eggs. I’ve never done a raw or mainly fruit and veggie way of eating even though my body has suggested I consider it for several years now. I have added those items to my intake more frequently so the way I eat has changed a lot from when I left home in 2015. But the Universe and my body are being more insistent this time so I’m going to give it a try and see what happens.
I’ve read up on what happens when people do a raw food diet so I know all the normal stuff that most people experience. The Universe knows I’m not into suffering so I don’t want to go through anything that feels bad to me. I can detox, I just don’t want side effects. I can lose weight, just no side effects. We’ll see what happens. I will follow what my body suggests and see if that is strictly fruits and veggies or if other foods are interspersed. I started today so I have no data yet. I don’t normally eat a lot so I don’t know how I’m going to consume enough calories or if I’m lessening my need for food. Again, I’ll just have to wait and see. My body still has me resting so I’m not expending many calories.
Even though I’m resting, my energy levels haven’t dropped since I had the transformation I talked about in the last post and it’s been a month. I am still covering a lot of ground when I walk and I have discontinued most naps. I still feel really solid in my body even with the lightheadedness. I’m experiencing changes every week which are improving my physical body. I never know what they are going to be, I just notice them when/after they happen.
I’m not making some overnight, miraculous recovery. Yes, it is miraculous in that doctors don’t believe it even when they see it but I always knew it would happen when I understood what I needed to do. As I type that, I have to admit I don’t understand what I’m doing. The only thing I’ve really done is open myself up to the Universe and learn to listen more and more closely. I allow the Universe to do whatever needs to be done and all I ask is that I don’t have to experience suffering of any kind while I’m doing what they ask. For the most part, the Universe has complied. I did have some nervous system stuff happening in my leg a few days ago that wasn’t comfortable but I knew it was happening because something was being fixed. The next day my leg felt really good and wasn’t bothering me at all. I’ve had some discomfort in it since but not bad and less and less each day.
I wish I had some magic solution for everyone in chronic pain, illness, or suffering of any kind. I don’t. The path I’ve chosen isn’t easy because it goes against all I was raised to believe and how I’ve been encouraged to behave. However, it’s working for me. Even though I encounter people who will ridicule or call me a liar, I can’t let that determine how I live my life especially when my health is improving. Other people have to live their lives and I have to live mine. If anything I’m doing or saying helps another person, I’m exceedingly grateful. It’s the reason I write this blog.
People don’t communicate with me much on this blog and that’s fine. Like I said, I write it so that, hopefully, someone finds something useful within it. If you’d like to share what is going on with you, I’d love to hear. If you’ve found anything useful, I’d love to hear. If you just want to tell me why you read the blog, I’d love to hear.